Every exit line is an entry

“There’s a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.” 

I turned 23 this week. I'll be honest and say I've felt 23 for awhile now, but finally having the day roll around makes it official. I had prepared myself for the fact that a birthday on the road would be hard - anyone who knows me knows how much I love birthdays - but I was still taken aback by how difficult it was. Being in a strange state surrounded by not a soul who knows you can be rough on a day when you're supposed to feel special. Regardless the women of Theta Beta were so sweet to help me celebrate, and I thank them for the text messages, the birthday cake, and for the safe keeping of the package my mom was sure to ship all the way to South Carolina. Special thanks to you too, Mom :)

But I was also surprised. Who called me on my birthday to make sure I knew while today would be hard, there were people out there who were thinking of me? Two consultant sisters. I was aware this job had collided me together with 9 strangers from across the country due to a shared experience that no one else could understand; but how fitting that it be them, who have never celebrated a birthday with me in all my 23 years, be the ones that take the time to call. Distance really does teach you some things.

At present I am wheels up for my final visit between me and setting foot in Portland again for the first time since January! Then one visit to CT, a wrap-up and goodbye tour in Philly, a week in ATL and a long-awaited reunion with all the ADPi LCs, and then that's it. Over. Done. Finito.

It's crazy to me that something I have poured so much in to can be done, just like that. A title that for all intensive purposes has  become my identity this year ("Hi, I'm Kashia. I'm The LC") will fall away as I transition back in to the 'real' world with my friends and family in the place I call home. 

 

Speaking of home - if you happen to be in the PDX airport later this week, keep an eye out for a 20-something with two pieces of luggage half her size sprinting (as best as possible, the aforementioned luggage makes things difficult) out of the airport. That'll be me. Can't wait to see you soon, #BestCoast!

The could haves, the should haves, and the would haves

It's 7 months in to this crazy adventure, and about 4 more to go. 

Have I had some wonderful times this semester? Absolutely. But have their also been some challenges? You bet.

I think the most interesting side of the consultant position is the side that is least often shared - the sleepless nights, the chapters who you maybe don't connect with, and the times you want to beat your head against the wall because again, despite your best efforts, the group just isn't getting it. "We're different." "XYZ University is just really unique." Uh-huh, sisters. You got it. 

So then, I stop and think about me. If I wasn't here, in whatever random state I happen to be in this week, where would I be? What job would I be working, what friend would I be seeing on the weekend, what guy would I be dating? And therein lie the hardest facts - because I can fill them in. I can see them. And I can be there. But am I? Heck no. I'm about 2,500 miles off, to be exact..

I'm not living for me, this year. That's the truest of truths. I'm not working off my own agenda, fulfilling my own needs, or dictating my own growth. I'm living for you - the sister who needs to stay up and talk about her problems at home, who doesn't have a good role model to seek after, and who has never been apart of something bigger than herself. I'm formulating my thoughts, sentences, and actions around you. 

So I'll be honest. Faced with these hard facts, and realzing that the lives of those I care about at home don't stop every time I leave the state just as mine does, I asked myself: what am I getting out of this experience? I feel as if I am constantly giving so. much. So what am I recieving in return?

And finally, admist the long day and the roller coaster of emotions, it dawned upon me:

I have gained more than I thought possible.

I have gained friendships that overcome the miles.

I have gained sisters who understand what I need in a moment, without having to question me.

I have gained mentors who sincerely want to see me succeed, and will go out on any limb to help me get there.

I have gained women who will open their homes to me merely because I share a sorority affiliation.

And I have gained a support system and a mutual understanding that has developed despite age, distance, time zone, or region.

So has this year been rough? Absolutely. But have I learned more about myself, and about the kindess of others, than I ever expected? You. bet.

I'm about to hop on a plane and head back to the great state of Virginia (land of Cookout, what's not to love) and then, in just 3 short days, I'll be West Coast bound for some much needed RR&R (rest, relaxation and reconnecting) in Seattle! 

Until then, you can catch me in Farmville. Yes, it is a real place - you're just as surprised as I am. 

1 down, 1 to go.

11 airports.

8 states.

7 Universities.

2 Spirit Weeks, 2 Initiations, 1 Formal Recruitment, 1 Lion Share Challenge, 1 Expansion Presentation.

A heck of a lot of laughs, tears, sleepless nights and amazing sisters.

 

And, with that, Semester 1 of this crazy adventure has come to a close. And pretty soon 2013 will be taking its final bows as well! It's crazy to think that a year that has brought me so much - college graduation, first big girl job, new cities and new relationships - is almost over. As I get ready to start a year of intense travel (no more being 'parked' for this consultant - I'm on the road like Jack Kerouac! anyone? Bueller?) I thought it only fitting that I reflect on the chapters I was blessed to visit in the fall semester of 2013.

Zeta Eta - University of North Alabama, Florence, Alabama.
I had never experienced true Southern hospitality until I met the women of Zeta Eta. As soon as I was greeted at the teeeeny tiny Muscle Shoals airport by the (equally teeny tiny) Chapter President Luisa, I knew a little piece of my heart was going to stay with the sisters of Zeta Eta. Always quick to attend to my every need (maybe too much so - I swear I gained 10 pounds that visit), these sisters calmed my nerves about embarking on my first chapter visit and showed me the meaning of feeling #ADPiFamous. 

Theta Theta - Quinnipeac University, Hamden, Connecticut.
If ever a consultant needed a dream chapter visit, Theta Theta would be the sisterhood to call. I was never actually scheduled to visit Quinnipeac, but being just 30 minutes down the road from my home at Sacred Heart these ladies quickly made it their mission to see that I was welcomed to Connecticut in true ADPi style. From Starbucks deliveries to invitations to impeccable chapter functions I can't say enough about the class and poise the sisters of Theta Theta possess. These women are a true testament to what can be accomplished within this organization with hard work, dedication, and great leadership. I feel #SOblessed to know them.

Eta Omicron - Western Connecticut State University, Danbury, Connecticut.
I only spent a quick two days in Danbury, but two days was all it took to see the true sisterhood of Eta Omicron. I love ADPi's initiation ceremony, but experiencing the ritual with these women was especially moving. This chapter has grown leaps and bounds recently, but through it all they haven't lost their close-knit bond. These ladies are true problem solvers and thier desire to honor our organization's ritual is something we should all strive to.

Theta Sigma - West Chester University, West Chester, Pennsylvania.

I had the opportunity to visit the now Theta Sigma chapter juuuuust before they were officially initiated and installed. This visit helped me to remember what a blessing it is to be a member of Alpha Delta Pi - they were so full of excitement to call their new sisterhood their own, and they made the tasks we LCs take for granted, like scouting a social locations and deciding t-shirt colors, feel like a treat. They also took me to an Amish Smorgasbord (aka buffet) and I saw my first real-life horse and buggy, so what's not to love?

Future UPenn Colony - University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Going to Philly and the University of Pennsylvania felt a little bit like coming home to me. I was greeted by two of my fellow Sisters of the Suitcase, Katie and Katherine, the first contact I'd had with my peers in quite some time. I instantly fell in love with UPenn with its old brick yet urban campus, diverse student population, and air of intelligence because it reminded me so. much. of UW (GO DAWGS!) It was also refreshing to have a creative outlet and get to work on a project that was our own, rather than serving in the usual role of outside advisor. I can't wait to get back in January to kick-off colony recruitment! And eat Distrito tacos, of course.

Theta Rho - Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, Connecticut.

Ah, Theta Rho. I saved these special ladies for last because I don't know if I can keep my outpouring of love at a reasonable length. If you had told me last Spring that I would be living in Connecticut and working at a small private Catholic school with a brand new ADPi chapter, I probably would have thought you were crazy. And then I would have asked you where exactly Connecticut was. (New England was always one giant blob to me - sorryi'mnotsorry, you guys call Oregon 'Or-Eh-Gone"). Picking up and moving to the East Coast all by myself (sing it with me) was scary, unexpected, sometimes weird and all the times exciting. Whereas some consultants give chapters their start, I felt like I was able to give this chapter their wings. It was a true lesson in taking the backseat, not needing the glory, and for all intensive purposes, being a stage mom. It was my job to teach the women how to function as an ADPi chapter, but the most rewarding times were when I got to talk with sisters about what it meant to be an ADPi woman. I want to thank each and every sister for all they taught me, the smiles in the hallway, the quick chats in Hawley, the lunch or dinner dates, and the times you treated me as more than a Leadership Consultant but a friend. It meant more to me than you knew.

In preciesly 32 hours I'll be ringing in the New Year in Seattle with some of my greatest friends, and prepareing to say see you later to my home life and hello again to consultant life. If this December has been any indication, 2014 should be a darn good year and I can't wait for what is in store. Keep up with me in January and February as I continue my tour of the (mostly) East Coast, and make visits to:

Theta Nu - Christopher Newport University, Newport News, Virginia

UPenn Colony - University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

a short stint at ADPi Executive Office in Atlanta, Georgia...

Epsilon Pi - Georgia Southern University, Statesboro, Georiga

Eta Lambda - Albright College, Reading, Pennsylvania

Epsilon Omicron - Murray State University, Murray, Kentucky

District III District Leadership Conference in New Jersey

Epsilon Chi - Longwood University, Farmville, Virginia

1 semester down, 1 to go!

An Empire State of Mind

I owe y'all (sidebar - I've determined that y'all really is a useful word. I've been trying it on recently, but most of the time I just feel like a poser. Insert judgmental hipster kid here.) a recap of my Columbus Day weekend, and trip to NYC! 

 

Rather than trek all the way across the coutnry again, my mom gave in and made the journey for my October days off to come see me! I had a great time showing her around Fairfield, shopping in Westport, and having her support as I got my first ink - but the most exciting thing we did together was definitely taking a trip in to The City, which over here means NYC.

 

If you've kept up with my blog you've probably noticed that I typically write in list form, rather than narrative. Just the way my brain works... it's got to be the Gold in me (True Colos anyone?) So once again, I'm going to fill you in one stop at a time on all that Momma Wolfe and I accomplished in our one day in The City.

1. Grand Central Terminal - I was quickly infomed that Grand Central is not a station, it is in fact a terminal. Automatic tourist status if you call it 'station'. Kind of like "Pike's Place", rather than Pike Place, in Seattle. newb...

 

 

2. Wall Street and the New York Stock Exchange

 

 

 

3. Freedom Tower and 9/11 Memorial

 

4. Battery Park/ Statue of Liberty

 

 

5. The Plaza Hotel - as a long time Eloise fan, I was quite excited by this portrait.

 

 

6. Central Park. Hello best (ok, and first) macaroons EVER

 

 

 

 

7. 5th Avenue - no pictures here. I don't think I could even afford a photo of some of the stores on that street..

8. Rockefeller Plaza

9. Radio City Music Hall

 

10. Times Square

 

11. The subway. Which I would like to add I navigated like a pro! Christopher Columbus and Siri where looking after me, that day...

 

 

So You Think You Want To Be an LC?

In honor of the 2014-2015 Leadership Consultant applications being due in... 5 days (sorry, had to go count) I thought I'd share my portion of the combined '13-'14 LC blog post on the Alpha Delta Pi Blog.
My experience as an ADPi Leadership Consultant thus far has taught me more about myself in 6 short months than I ever thought possible. The biggest skills I've learned are:

Independence. Have you ever been transplanted from one coast to another to live on your own 3000 miles away from everything and everyone you're used to? Because of this job, I can now say I have. While it may sound terrifying, the thrill of getting to live in and learn about an entirely new part of the country is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I have been forced out of my comfort zone on numerous occasions, and because of it I've learned I'm far more capable than I ever realized. 

Patience. Many aspects of daily life are no longer in your control when you are a Leadership Consultant - such as when you eat, where (and when) you sleep, how to get from point A to point B, etc. Having to rely on others to fulfill your needs is a true lesson in patience, and one that I've been grateful to receive. Through this job I've learned to not only be patient with myself but patient with my sisters too, and to trust that they will take care of me.

Sisterhood. I learned plenty about sisterhood as a collegiate member, as I'm sure all of you have, too. But what I have learned about sisterhood as a Leadership Consultant is that it reaches so much farther than I ever knew! Being able to show up on a random college campus and instantly feel comfortable with a room full of women I've never met is a true testament to the bonds of Alpha Delta Pi sisterhood we all share. I've found that I have things in common with women all across the United States, young and old, and the care and kindness they've shown me simply because we share the same letters reminds me every day that I couldn't be luckier to be a member of the first and the finest!

Applying to be an Alpha Delta Pi Leadership Consultant is easily one of the best decisions I made in my college career, second only to coming home to Alpha Delta Pi in the first place. This organization began changing my life the minute I joined, and I knew it was something I would never leave behind. Being a consultant will not only continue to change your life for the better, but allow you to change the lives of other sisters across the country as well - and what better job can you have than that?

 

Best of luck to this year's applicants! <>

There's a first time for everything

And there's a time to get back to blogging, correct?

I apologize that its been awhile between posts. Recruitment happened - and anyone with even small connection to Greek Life knows what that means. I believe I worked nearly 40 hours in the span of 3 days.. thank goodness my fellow Sister of the Suitcase Morgan was here to keep me sane. Couldn't have gotten through the weekend without you, sister!

Now that I'm settling in to a more normal routine here in CT, I've had the opportunity to reflect on all that has been accomplished in the full month that I've been here. Theta Rho has experienced many firsts as a recently installed chapter; and I've experienced a number of firsts personally, as well!

Here's a few of the highlights:
1. First time living on my own
oh the Extended Stay... I'll admit, I'm growing pretty fond of it!

2. First time to the Merritt Canteen

Merritt is to SHU as to Memo's is to UW. Four words: fried mac & cheese bites.

3. First Dunkin' Donuts coffee

 They say America runs on Dunkin' - I say half of America runs on Dunkin', the other half has a Starbs IV drip. But maybe that's just the Seattlite in me.

 



4. First time stocking a full fridge entirely on my own
I actually really like grocery shopping. I always knew I was domestic.

5. First time in Rhode Island


 

6. First time in the Atlantic Ocean

7. First time on an Ivy League campus

Since being on the East Coast I have been on both Yale and Brown's campuses. Still waiting for all of that smartness to rub off on me...

8. First Edible Arrangement (but hopefully not the last - hint hint future husband)

 



9. First time going to spin class
but certainly not the last! Spoiler alert - I'm addicted.

10. First Alex & Ani purchase. And second, and third...

 

I know there are many more 'firsts' in store this semester - most notably, come this Friday it will be my first time being on the East Coast with my mom! That's right, Columbus Day weekend the Wolfe women are taking on New England and then NYC :) More (and more regular) updates to follow. Promise!

True Life: I'm a sorority consultant

Today, while breezing through the mall by myself on a mission for mascara (girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do), I was stopped by a woman and asked if I was interested in working at Abercrombie & Fitch.

"Uhh.. no, I'm not. But thank you, I really appreciate that" I replied. She nodded and continued on her way, and why she stopped me outside of Charlotte Russe I'm still not sure but I'll take it as a compliment... I guess. Regardless I chuckled to myself as I walked away, because for a moment I thought that I should have included that while I appreciate the offer, I am already employed. But then she might ask what it is I do and well.. that's a doosey.

When I was first told I would be the resident consultant for the Theta Rho chapter at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut I called up the one sister who I knew could answer my questions, silly and varying as they may be - miss Eryn Shannon, Theta Rho's O.G. colony consultant. She was a wealth of information and advice (and still continues to be - thanks girl) but the one question I couldn't seem to wrap my head around was simply: what do I DO all day?

I've found that the answer has been simple really, and the days do go by pretty fast. I won't lie and say that being in Connecticut some 1000+ miles from my friends and family is easy, but I've been more than occupied since I got here and I thought I would share a little bit of my day to day happenings with you all - because well, why not.

9:30 am - wake up. Unless it's two days ago, when I was awoken exactly 2 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off by the fire alarm. Groggily trying to determine WHY my alarm was suddenly so loud, I realized that there was also flashing lights to accompany the awful sound and perhaps I should collect my things and get out of the room, just in case it was to suddenly become ablaze. The things I made sure to grab before I stumbled into the hall to learn it was only a test of the equipment? My iPhone(s), iPad, and rainbows. #priorities.

9:30 - 11:45 am - breakfast, news, and get ready for the day.

11:45 am - hop in my little red Hyundai and make my morning commute to campus.

12:00 - 12:10 pm - search for parking. I've learned that the plights of parking are not only limited to the UW Greek community.

12:15 - 7:00 pm - post up in Hawley Lounge for officer meetings, emailing, committee and/ or team meetings, and work. This is the part of my day that seems the most normal and office-like - if you could call sharing an office with 2 pool tables, 6 TVs and the resident Dungeons and Dragons club normal.

7:00 - 12:00 pm - campus/ chapter activities. The thing I have come to find about SHU is that it is typical for students to have class until 10:00 at night (and I thought 6 o'clock ECFS classes were bad), therefore most campus activities don't begin until 10:10pm. I was warned that I'd have to get used to a late schedule and well... I'm adjusting. 


All jokes aside, I also wanted to share the overwhelming feeling I've had lately that despite my fears, concerns, and uncertainties, I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing exactly what I should be doing. As an addendum to my Sunday schedule yesterday, I had a craving for some Jesus-time and looked up the address to a Fairfield church. Now, as I still do often... I got lost on the way. I will try to defend myself and say that Siri was telling me that the place was located on the side of the freeway, but we all know that I barely know which was is up here in CT so it didn't make much difference anyway. Frustrated and running out of time to make the service, I took the next exit which happened to be to Sacred Heart and turned down a campus side street to get my bearings. And there, backwards and alone, I realized - I had somehow found my way to the church. With two minutes to spare I headed inside and found myself a seat only to learn that the theme of the message was to be 'Roots'. How appropriate for a recent East Coast transplant such as myself, I thought. As the pastor spoke about his own life, growing up in Fairbanks Alaska as the son of two alcoholic parents, and his journey in serving the Lord he shared that while he first set off to college at the University of Miami he later transferred to attend seminary a little closer to home. And where was that place, you might wonder? Seattle.

After the service I made it a point to go introduce myself to the pastor and his wife, both previous Seattleites, and explain that I was a recent UW grad plopped in the middle of Fairfield for work. The way the man shook my hand, and really listened to what I had to say... it was amazing. I knew God had gotten me to that church on time for a reason. Wait... isn't that a song?

Today after my quick mall trip and offer of a pre-teen's dream job, I was rushing to make it back to the Extended Stay in time for a conference call. Once again though, I got myself lost going the wrong way on Highway 15 and ended up going 5 miles in the opposite direction... so I pulled off at the next available exit, determined that I would have to hop on the call from the first parking lot I could find, and turned in to an empty Methodist Church. 30 minutes on the phone turned in to 3 hours, and before I knew it I'd been working from this new remote office location longer than I'd been home most of the day! At least at this point the muggy, rainy weather had somewhat passed and as the sun got ready to go down I got out of the car to stretch and call home.

I paced the length of a small garden probably 10 times while debriefing the day with my mom. I laughed about the craziness of this job that I do, but shared my appreciation for all that I'm learning from it. Ever-supportive, mom agreed. As I got ready to hang up, head home, and finally call it a night a large rock marking the entrance to the garden caught my eye:

 

Well played Jesus. Well. Played.

 

 

Tomorrow I leave for Big Sky Country to spend my September days off with extended family! I can't wait for catching up, relaxation, and fun. And for what I lack in sleep while getting there... I know I'll make up for in family bonding ;) Adios!